December. Even the word conjures joy, starlit skies and glittering streets, breath that dances in the air, sweet candy cane kisses. A world in the best of moods. But maybe not this year. In these ominous December days, when the gift of health is probably the greatest of all, I am grateful that my family …
A mom phoned the other day to talk about her daughter, just 19, living in a far-away state. The girl had been abusing drugs for several years, drifting in and out of treatment centers. She wanted desperately to “come home,” again. After listening carefully, I asked this distraught mother, “How is your husband handling this?” …
Because of COVID, my family will not be together this Thanksgiving. But we’ll be fine. We have years of warm memories. All, except one. When Jacob was actively using and falling deeper into addiction, Thanksgiving brought only sadness. He was 21. Weeks before the holiday he entered his first inpatient treatment. After years of abusing …
It always surprises me how many people don’t know it. It also surprises me how many do. When I first heard the Serenity Prayer, there was no personal link to addiction. In 1992 my work with a local health system landed me at the ribbon-cutting of the region’s first inpatient, substance use treatment center, called …
Jacob was right. I just didn’t understand it at the time. It was eight years ago and one year into his sobriety. We were seated at an outdoor breakfast café in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida where his recovery had taken him. How clearly I recall his words, and the calm, quiet way he delivered them. “Ma, …
Last Saturday I stumbled across a small gathering of people clustered in a circle at a street-end park. They were seated on lawn chairs and beach blankets on a patch of green under a cobalt blue sky. As I walked by with Charlie, our two-year-old greyhound, I overheard one of the group who looked like …
After months of trying to hide that their child is abusing drugs, parents often ask me, “Where did you send your son to ‘get well’?” I know what they really mean. They know Jacob is healthy now. So they must be asking about the treatment center I “sent” him to, because it “cured” him, right? …
When Jacob was actively using, I shunned not only my family, but also my friends. They sensed something was wrong. But I didn’t want them to. I blocked their every attempt to draw me out. Shame engulfed me. I wasn’t ready to share the horror permeating my household. I worked hard to hide my anxiety, …
I knew it the instant I walked through the door. Only six people attended my first Al-Anon meeting, but I knew I’d found a home. One of the men recognized me. Despite my frantic, misguided need to shield my son’s addiction, it didn’t matter. What did matter was their stories were like mine. Their faces …
It happens often. When my husband and I are invited to speak in family workshops to help parents and spouses of loved ones battling addiction, we learn more than we give. During a recent event – on Zoom – a mother shared her profound love for her adult daughter and her despair at not being …