Blog & News

“Dopesick”

“Dopesick”

I’ve always admired journalists. A journalist who spends years researching a difficult subject – sacrificing personal time with a ferociousness to educate the rest of us – is someone to admire even more. That’s how I felt recently when I met Beth Macy, author of “Dopesick,” at a charitable event in Washington DC.  Other journalists …

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I love you, but…

I love you, but…

How many times did I say this as my son grew up?  How often did I repeat them in the troubled days of his active addiction, sometimes at the worst times? I recall saying it the evening my husband and I returned from a meeting at the high school where Jacob’s advisor warned us:  your …

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Alcogenic

Alcogenic

The first time I read that word my son was fighting for sobriety.  He was early in recovery and I was reading everything I could about addiction. Ann Dowsett Johnston, author of “Drink,” describes our society as ‘alcogenic,’ meaning a “’drinking culture.”  Because so many Americans drink,  social events revolve around alcohol.  On weekends we …

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When listening is enough

When listening is enough

Recently I overheard a young man in recovery talking by phone to his mother.  A distance of several states separated them. But it sounded like the distance was far greater. The man – barely out of adolescence – was downloading details about an incident at his job site.  By his raised voice and staccato phrases, …

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Don’t relapse when I die

Don’t relapse when I die

It wasn’t church, but it sure felt like it. On a Sunday morning some 65 men and women sit in a large room, chairs scattered around rectangular tables, their eyes focused on two speakers at the head. Feeling awkward, I sit quietly in the back. Not an alcoholic, I don’t “qualify” to attend AA meetings. …

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Two mothers, two sons

Two mothers, two sons

Going to AA meetings with Jacob during family vacations has become as routine as visiting the “100 Flavors” of ice cream on the boardwalk each evening. But this year held a highlight. It began when I learned that a close friend from Annapolis was vacationing the same week with her family nearby. Nine years ago …

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When a friend is hurting

When a friend is hurting

Often I am asked this question: “My friend has a son who is using. What should she do?” The question comes from a place of love. We want to help our friends when they hurt. When Jacob was using, and his world was so dark, I went dark, too. Sullen, silent, like a winged bat …

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Celebrating an anniversary

Celebrating an anniversary

At a recent Al-Anon meeting a mother shared how she’d attended her son’s one-year sobriety celebration. This mother was no stranger to addiction. Her son, now in his 30s, had been drinking and using drugs since college. Listening intently to every word, I found myself reliving my own son’s one-year anniversary. What I listened for …

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Recovery – what’s next?

Recovery – what’s next?

So much is written about how to survive when someone you love is in active addiction. But what happens when recovery begins? When Jacob was using, I lost him.  The son I’d raised, the son I wanted, was gone.  But once he stopped abusing alcohol and other drugs, the son I loved began to re-emerge. …

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No one gets through it alone

No one gets through it alone

It haunts me every time. Recently, it was a close friend, a father who is living the nightmare of his son’s active addiction.  Complicated by the young man’s mental illness, this father’s not sure which came first – the drugs or the mental sickness – but the heavy marijuana use thwarts any effort to find …

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