It sounds so simple. There’s a line in addiction literature that says, if one person in the family gets better, chances improve for the others. When I began to attend Al-Anon meetings years ago, I went alone. It took courage to walk into that church the first time on a stormy Sunday night. After a …
I remember the first time I heard it. It is okay to glance back at your past. Just don’t stare. More than a decade after my son’s recovery, I sometimes look back at the years living with his active addiction, especially when a newcomer attends an Al-Anon meeting. Although I don’t stare, it is easy …
Like most parents, we tried to raise our children with certain values. Among the top was service to others. As the English-born poet W.H. Auden said, “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” Our daughter grew up watching us volunteer. She witnessed …
If you haven’t experienced it yet, you are fortunate. And probably in the minority. Recently, it happened to me again. A friend whose son had abused drugs most of his life suddenly lost his battle to overdose. Every day in America some 100 people die from overdose. Somewhere a mom or dad faces the unimaginable. …
When my son was new to recovery – as was I – two conversations stand out One we had. One we didn’t. It was his first year in recovery. After five months in a South Florida sober living house, he had moved to an apartment with a young man also facing his first year. They …
My son and daughter hate how I pepper them with questions. Whether it’s the journalist in me or just overanxious mothering, I have so much to ask them. Always. They just roll their eyes – there goes Mom again – and balk. When Jacob entered his senior year in high school, my habit got worse. …
I still hear it. A mother or father whose child is abusing drugs or alcohol, locked away in a basement bedroom at home, is terrified lest anyone find out. Maybe they will share it with a counselor or a physician. But never to a relative or friend, and certainly not to a neighbor. What if …
Recently our family gathered in New Hampshire for a two-week vacation. Whenever we are together, there is typically lots of laughter. It’s probably genetic. My parents had a keen sense of humor. So does my brother. When we both married funny and smart-witted spouses, my father’s only lament was “I didn’t get a straight-man.” Fast …
A parent will ask, when can I trust my son or daughter again? Until high school Jacob was healthy, smart, college-bound. A cross-country runner, member of the band, surrounded by other smart, healthy and college-bound kids, he was the light of our lives. No matter how busy our days, his father and I made sure …
I’ve heard them all. Recently, talking with a friend, we recalled where we were – physically and emotionally – when our sons were using. We talked about how we never want to go back there. What saved us – or at least me – was Al-Anon. Never a groupie, I shunned the idea of joining …