When she sat next to me, I sensed her tension. She was fighting hard to stay calm and stave off tears that inevitably would fall. As a “newcomer,” someone attending an Al-Anon meeting for the first time, she needed to hear the right message, words that would help to reach beyond her misery and give …
Recently I was asked what – if anything — I have learned from my son’s addiction. And now that he has ten years in recovery, and I more than 11 years in Al-Anon, is there anything I want to pass along to someone living with active addiction? Yes, and this may be just for starters… …
Maybe it’s our nature. We dwell on the negative. With addiction there is good reason. It is easy to feel depressed, anxious and fearful, just as those suffering with the disorder. Headlines don’t help. The pandemic and its forced isolation have fueled one of our worst periods since recording drug deaths. Headlines scream: Yearly drug …
When Jacob was actively using, what gave me great hope was the wisdom of those in long-term recovery. They never failed to say what I needed to hear. Recently, I posed the following question to several men in long-term recovery: What words of hope can you offer to parents worried over a child’s addiction? Tom …
I am sitting in a large community-based fellowship hall with some 50 people. Most are in their 20s and 30s. There are many who are older, too. This is an AA meeting in South Florida. My son has invited me. He attends this gathering every week, arranging his work and social schedule always to be …
Recently, I had the great pleasure of talking with men and women in long-term recovery. They opened up about building new lives. Their kind and generous responses are too rich not to share. In this post, and again in two weeks, please allow me to offer their words. If you are suffering with the love …
Some of the most profound people I know are those in recovery – especially those who have been in recovery for years. They have a strength unique to them, plus a hard-earned wisdom they are willing to share with “outsiders” like me. Recently – looking to this New Year – I asked several men and …
“What do I do?” the mother asks me. “My son wants to come home for Christmas.” She sits before me, a friend from the effects of addiction on our families. It is near-impossible to tell her what to do. I am not a therapist – just one mother with one son. Still, our stories are …
Thanksgiving to New Year’s is a time of joy for many people. Or so I’ve always thought. It’s a moment away from work. Time to relax with family. Share presents. Savor delicious meals. A retreat from the pressures of the year, and a healthy pause before it begins all over again. In the years when …
Normal conversations include questions, right? When my son was abusing drugs – now nearly a decade ago – normal conversations were impossible. He was either rarely around or often groggy when he was. How many times did I want to ask him so many questions? – Where’d you go last night? – What time did …