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Category: Blog

Independence Day

Independence Day

July 4th makes me think about taxes. It’s not what you think. It’s not about “taxation without representation” or the tax on tea that helped spark a war with a king. It’s about the ties to April 15 – and something my son once said. When Jacob was in high school, and slowly numbing himself …

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Triggering

Triggering

He had been sober for 6 months. The moment felt so fragile, like a porcelain teacup teetering on the table’s edge.  One tiny shake of the house – a truck rumbling outside or a jet flying too low overhead- might send it crashing to the floor. If it shatters into a dozen pieces, can it …

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The credit card scam

The credit card scam

According to both online and published reports, credit card scams are up. But what’s that got to do with addiction? Just ask any parent of a teenager or young adult. It’s bad enough when your card is hacked from someone “outside.”  But when it happens inside your household, it is even more painful. Today it’s …

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Graduation and letting go

Graduation and letting go

Somewhere between spring and summer is another season: graduation. It’s a season when expectations run high. Not just for the graduate, expecting that one shining moment on stage…. But even more so for the parents. What mom or dad hasn’t sat on a folding chair or a hardwood bleacher and watched their child among hundreds …

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Sammi

Sammi

Twelve men and women sit around a table agreeing on what should come next. The subject of their discussion lays sprawled out on the floor, big, brown and unflappable.  A loud gnawing emanates from his corner.  He’s chewing on a bone, oblivious to the decision that will bring in others of his species. The all-volunteer …

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That lovin’ feeling

That lovin’ feeling

It’s a common word and maybe a little overused today. Compassion. Fostering an intense caring for another’s plight, it sometimes stirs up action – like sending in an army, lending money, delivering groceries, or just making soup. But that loving feeling was not always part of my life. When my son fell into addiction in …

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The Fixer

The Fixer

On a recent stroll I spotted two men at the entrance to an elementary school parking lot. A 10-foot wooden gate had locked in the closed position. The men were trying to free it. When I returned about 30 minutes later, they had. Last week a leak sprouted from a fire hydrant at a nearby …

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The other shoe

The other shoe

In addiction circles it’s a common phrase.  It turns up over time. First, parents yearn for their child’s sobriety, praying for the time when alcohol or drugs will no longer come between them and their son or daughter. Then, as it happens for many, the child finds sobriety.  For the first month, or ninety days, …

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Lemme fix it

Lemme fix it

Accept it. Moms – and dads – just want to be helpful to their children, no matter the child’s age. It’s a lifelong commitment. But what happens when that child has an addiction?  And you are told to “detach with love” – as a helpful maxim dictates.   How does that change the rules?  What’s allowed …

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What about the babies

What about the babies

Research suggests that alcoholism and other forms of addiction are genetic. Or, at least, it seems to run in families. Maybe that’s partly why it snuck up on us.  We know of no genetic link in our family. Recently, I stood at the exit of a fellowship meeting in South Florida alongside my son watching …

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