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Elixir

Elixir

 

If there were an elixir, proven to heal thousands of people every year, guaranteed to at least make you feel better if you gave it a try – would you try it?

More than a decade ago I didn’t believe it either.

When my son was nearing his worst days under the grip of an addiction that terrified me – and numbed him – a counselor suggested I try Al-Anon.

I reacted almost viscerally.

How dare he suggest that for me.  Wasn’t Al-Anon a place where wives of alcoholics went to vent their anger and frustration against their good-for-nothing husbands?  Where all they did was sit and rage in some dingy church basement?

And what about that church basement?

Wasn’t Al-Anon a religious program?  How could I possibly fit in?  I am not Christian.  How would a church-based gathering ever be meaningful to me?

Besides, why did I need a “program?”  It was my son who had the addiction.  Not me.

And yet, every night I stared at my bedside clock until I heard his footsteps on the stairs.  Shame kept me from sharing my anguish with close friends, let alone family.  Jacob was my obsession.  Where was he?  Was he where he said he would be?  And with whom?   Dong what?

Depression. Anxiety.  Isolation.  Loss.  Fear.  Unrelenting worry.  Many of the same emotions my son was enduring assailed me, too.

They say one comes to Al-Anon when one is ready.

In my case, more than ready.

Even that first day I left feeling better.  Religious?   No.  Spiritual?  Yes.  And a place where shame doesn’t enter.  Where comfort and companionship, solace and strength thrive.

Just the elixir I needed then, years ago.

And still do today.

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