We may never know the full story.

A child kills his parents.

That’s horrific enough.

But what makes the deaths of Rob and Michele Reiner even worse – if that’s possible – is how the revelation further fuels shame surrounding addiction.

Even among rich and famous families, shame lives.

The news hurls me back, calling up memories of the shame that engulfed me during Jacob’s early years of substance misuse.

Even at that first phone call from his teacher, I could feel my face flush.  This was something I had to hide.  No one could know.  What would that say about me? About me as a mother?  Or a professional?  Or a friend others could trust?

The need to shield what was happening kept me from sharing anything with anyone, even close family members.

I wore a brave front.  Everything was fine. Jacob was just “going through a phase.”  Don’t all high school seniors try drinking or drugs?

Shame made a bad situation worse.

Eventually, the wisdom of others penetrated.

When people wiser than I said, “Try Al-Anon,” I did.

Week after week, month after month, slowly the shame lifted.  In its place recovery took hold.  Healing from the effects of addiction on me and my family began.

Is there a place for shame in our world?  Perhaps from a repentant criminal?  Or a disobedient child?

Or a nation for how it treats some of its citizens.

But in addiction?  Shame has no place – for either the addicts or the ones who love them.

Maybe this new year the shame of addiction will fall away like the old story it is.

And instead, a new one will emerge – filled with recovery, hope and love.