Fifteen years.

That’s how long my husband and I have been attending Al-Anon meetings, most of them in the same kindergarten room at a nearby church.

Fifteen years of sitting beside tiny desks in a circle embracing other mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, and friends who care about them.

We all come for the same thing: how to cure our loved one from addiction.

The fortunate ones leave with Al-Anon’s clear message: you can’t control the addiction, you didn’t cause it, and you can’t cure it.

The less fortunate just take longer.

Sometimes you get to see the light return to a face with sudden understanding.  “Aha.  You mean I’m here to cure myself from the effects of addiction, and not my loved one?”

When I sat mute through my first meeting in December 2010, I heard “old timers” say they had been coming to Al Anon for 5 years, ten, or more.  Are you kidding me, I thought.  Why so long?

What about the rest of the family?  Weren’t there other children or family members who needed them?  How could they sit in this church basement week after week, listening to the sorrows of others?

And now, here I am.  One of them.

But I no longer listen only for the sorrows.

After 15 years of personal recovery,  I  offer whatever I can to ease another’s anguish. I offer my experience, strength and hope.

And after some 800 meetings, I get as much – if not more -than I give.

Because recovery starts with one meeting.

Just one.

Fifteen years, and I keep coming back.