In times of crises, children are taught – Look for the Helpers. Spot a dark blue or brown uniform. Maybe a bright yellow hat. A white vest with a red cross. But with addiction – and all the crises it brings – the helpers are not so obvious. When my son’s substance abuse began, I …
Growing up, I had no idea how important it was. Not until I married, had children, and started a career did I appreciate the gift my parents had given me. My father was a master of the one-liner. Then I found it in my husband. Both children can sometimes make me laugh to tears. A …
I never doubted I was a good parent. Even during Jacob’s darkest days, I never thought I was in any way a “bad” mother. Mostly. When therapists told me addiction happens in the best of families, to children of the best parents, I tried hard to believe them. But that didn’t stop the ruminating. What …
If there were an elixir, proven to heal thousands of people every year, guaranteed to at least make you feel better if you gave it a try – would you try it? More than a decade ago I didn’t believe it either. When my son was nearing his worst days under the grip of …
Suitcases are rolling. Backpacks strain at the seams. Laundry bags scream for air. Watching students check in at a nearby college, I recall another check-in day, years ago. The night before taking off for college, don’t most kids pack? They decide what goes into the suitcase, what can wait for Christmas break, what goes to …
Recently, a friend shared that she was funding her daughter’s post-graduate education. She sounded apologetic. It’s funny how sometimes parents think there must be some clear demarcation line – some age or achievement or victory level – where we STOP giving our kids money. Add addiction, it gets even more complicated. Jacob worked as a …
An administrator at our local treatment center recently stepped aside for several months following surgery. His absence reminds me how important such people are to our loved ones with addiction. Like all professions, addiction treatment attracts the good and the bad. Sometimes the good ones are hard to find. They were for me. Even though …
Name a fear, and there’s probably a word for it. Fears have names. And sometimes the names are more frightening than the fear itself. Consider these (just for fun?): Nomophobia is the irrational fear of being without a mobile phone or internet access. Athazagoraphobia is an intense fear of being forgotten or forgetting someone or …
I am seated at an outdoor café lunching with a friend after several months’ absence. We barely scan the menu before the talk turns to our children, and then their peers. These are the now grown kids we both watched in the high school marching band, on the outdoor track, in the auditorium at back-to-school …
July 4th makes me think about taxes. It’s not what you think. It’s not about “taxation without representation” or the tax on tea that helped spark a war with a king. It’s about the ties to April 15 – and something my son once said. When Jacob was in high school, and slowly numbing himself …