Some of the most profound people I know are those in recovery – especially those who have been in recovery for years. They have a strength unique to them, plus a hard-earned wisdom they are willing to share with “outsiders” like me. Recently – looking to this New Year – I asked several men and …
“What do I do?” the mother asks me. “My son wants to come home for Christmas.” She sits before me, a friend from the effects of addiction on our families. It is near-impossible to tell her what to do. I am not a therapist – just one mother with one son. Still, our stories are …
Thanksgiving to New Year’s is a time of joy for many people. Or so I’ve always thought. It’s a moment away from work. Time to relax with family. Share presents. Savor delicious meals. A retreat from the pressures of the year, and a healthy pause before it begins all over again. In the years when …
Normal conversations include questions, right? When my son was abusing drugs – now nearly a decade ago – normal conversations were impossible. He was either rarely around or often groggy when he was. How many times did I want to ask him so many questions? – Where’d you go last night? – What time did …
When parents talk about a son or daughter who is abusing drugs or alcohol, their voices rarely falter. They are fully engrossed retelling the horrors of daily living – how this child with so much promise is ruining not only his life, but theirs. It sends me right back to my own years living that …
Isn’t it unnatural for a parent not to love his or her child? This question came up in a conversation with a friend whose child is abusing drugs and alcohol. She reminded me there were times during Jacob’s active addiction when I didn’t want to be around him. I even questioned how much I loved …
They serve almost without anyone knowing. They save thousands of lives every day. These are the men and women who serve as “sponsors” – those who have achieved recovery from addiction – and seek to help others achieve the same. Sponsorship is just one feature that makes AA and Al-Anon so extraordinary. Sponsorship is free. …
Ironic, isn’t it? It took a potentially fatal condition to introduce me to what’s now a popular phrase – a “gratitude list.” Pick up any self-help book or check any self-help blog and you see the term. Therapists recommend writing a “gratitude list” to reaffirm the positive in your life. It took many months of …
When a parent loses a child, are there any words that can console? But when a parent loses a child to addiction, what then? With addiction comes unrelenting guilt, sometimes shame, remorse and isolation. Does the unbearable anguish intensify? Today, tragedies unfold everywhere. Deaths from COVID that could be prevented. Afghan refugees and those left …
A family member recently suffered an injury. Living through it, I am reminded how quickly life can be disrupted – and with no warning. But it also reminds me how different it is when a son or daughter or spouse suffers from addiction. The contrasts are stark. For the broken bone the path is clear. …