I rarely get angry. Is that abnormal? It must be. Because when friends find out they look at me strangely. Living with someone who is actively using drugs or abusing alcohol, it is easy to get angry. Probably even normal. Like the time that Jacob’s high school counselor called me, “Are you aware your son …
A father recently asked, how do you handle the guilt when you don’t want your loved one to come home after rehab? When you fear she is not ready? His question sent me spiraling back years ago, a moment when Jacob was “between” rehabs. We had dropped him off at a rehab center in Maryland …
Don’t take this literally. I’ve never been there, never witnessed it. It was shared with me second hand. But it is as real in my imagination as if I were there. Maybe more. Here’s what I see. A large resort in South Florida. The hotel holds nearly 1,000 guests. Two large pools rim an oceanside …
Summertime, my husband and I often travel. Perhaps a road trip here and there. Besides being fun, a change of scenery inspires the spirit, soothes the soul. Whenever we leave home, I am struck by how prevalent addiction is in other communities, Signs of it are especially evident in small towns. A poster on a …
Some people say programs like AA and Al-Anon are a cult. If that’s so, may there be more cultists among us! Often in Al-Anon meetings – and AA too – you will hear someone say, “the program saved my life.” It is not an exaggeration. Shame, anxiety, fear, and depression overwhelmed me when Jacob was …
This fourth of July I am thinking about freedom. Not so much our nation’s or the freedoms we value every day. Rather, it is the freedom that comes from no longer living with active addiction. I see it in others, too. Like the relief a mother feels when her daughter agrees to inpatient treatment, and …
Through the years of my son’s active addiction, what I wanted most was a story of survival. How could someone overcome the lethal grip of alcohol or drugs and return to a “normal,” healthy life? Like many people who love someone with addiction, I needed hope. Well-known Annapolis author John W. Frece has just published …
When we drove onto the grounds of the treatment center, my first thought was, this is it. This is where my son gets well. The setting was picture-perfect. Pastoral. Any ache, mental or physical, would be healed here, swept away under ancient, leafy oaks, cleansed alongside a sweep of graceful weeping willows. Even the stream …
Ask anyone who knows something about addiction. Or read any article on the topic. Most will say addiction is a disease. When I first heard that, even long before addiction assaulted my family, I thought it was a kind way of labeling something people did to themselves. Abusing drugs or alcohol was a choice, wasn’t …
The mom’s face gives it away every time. Her son is using only a little, she tells me. He smokes weed sometimes. Well maybe more than just sometimes. Yes, he spends a lot of time in his room, and he doesn’t seem to care about school anymore. But no, he’s not an addict. For the …