Accept it. Moms – and dads – just want to be helpful to their children, no matter the child’s age. It’s a lifelong commitment. But what happens when that child has an addiction? And you are told to “detach with love” – as a helpful maxim dictates. How does that change the rules? What’s allowed …
Research suggests that alcoholism and other forms of addiction are genetic. Or, at least, it seems to run in families. Maybe that’s partly why it snuck up on us. We know of no genetic link in our family. Recently, I stood at the exit of a fellowship meeting in South Florida alongside my son watching …
This is no auditorium. There are no endless rows of padded seats. No one is standing at the door handing out programs, and no one will scurry to add chairs for a standing-room-only crowd. Instead, at the front of this church hall stands a small table. There are no flags or potted ferns. And certainly, …
My son says it’s counterintuitive. Parents love their children. That’s a maxim. And they do all they can to protect them from harm. But when that harm is self-inflicted, what is a parent to do? Funny to think of it now, but when Jacob was abusing pills, and I was desperate to stop him, these …
They are fresh-faced and cleanly dressed. All nine of them. Young men in their 20s and 30s, they are gathering at my son’s home for a meeting. Each extends an arm. My eyes lock on theirs as we clasp hands. They are clear-eyed, unafraid, entirely cordial. These men will spend the next hour in what …
A friend whose adolescent son struggles with anxiety, depression – and addiction – recently said to me, “I want more joy in my life.” For an instant I just stared at her. Who doesn’t? I wanted to shoot back. Instead, I picked up her words, like a light sweater on a cool day, and slung …
Occasionally, I am invited to attend an “open” AA meeting. Typically, it is to celebrate a milestone in recovery. Rare is the invitation to celebrate a child’s recovery. (Note: this is shared with permission of the storytellers) The room is filled with men and women who greet each other warmly. This is an established group. …
He was coming home from rehab, just in time for the holidays. His mother was anxious. How would he “fit in” with the rest of the family? Could she trust him – even for a few days – to stay sober for the celebrations? She kept calling him her adolescent. The “boy” was 28, but …
Recently, a family friend – not a man I see often, but someone I’ve known and respected for his intelligence and wisdom – posted THIS on my blog: Your story makes me feel so blessed that I have never been cursed with a child’s addiction. After my initial shock, I carried his words around for …
She was stuck, and she wasn’t alone. Seated in kindergarten chairs in the church basement, Al-Anon attendees listened patiently. Many knew her story well. Many were living it. A husband was drinking again. Again was the operative word. The woman had lived with his alcoholism for decades. She’d endured periods of his heavy drinking, followed …