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Tears

Tears

If tears could wash away all pain, this past year surely would have cleansed our world free of it. How deep is that well? Tears shed over the loss of loved ones from COVID, from crazed gunmen, from bombings, and – of course- from opioids.  The tragedies strain our hearts.  Sadness exhausts our sympathy. There …

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Where should I send my son?

Where should I send my son?

A mom asked me recently, “Where should I send my son?” Even to get the question, I knew we were in tough territory. The son, not quite 18, was still under his mother’s roof and under her skin. A recent inpatient stay hadn’t “fixed” him, as the mother had hoped – or worse – expected. …

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The Phone Call

The Phone Call

My son phoned me yesterday. I was driving home from a book discussion with friends when his name popped up on my car console. What is it about unexpected calls from adult children? Are moms – parents – just trained to react with fear when a child phones suddenly? Or perhaps that’s my own peculiar …

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Fentanyl

Fentanyl

It’s not a book for everyone.  But if your life has been affected by opioids in any way – or you are raising young children – read it. It may terrify you. Recently I moderated a book discussion for the Annapolis Book Festival with authors Ben Westhoff and Jessie Dunleavy.  Dunleavy’s memoir, “Cover My Dreams …

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A Walk in the Park

A Walk in the Park

At first I didn’t see him. What I saw was a small heap of rags, a mound of dark colors piled on the grass. Charlie and I were out for our daily jaunt.  A two-year old, former racing greyhound, Charlie loves walking the streets, sniffing fresh green shoots and stopping short when she spies a …

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Milestones

Milestones

A mother once asked me, “My son is about to celebrate his first year in recovery.  He invited me and my husband to attend his AA meeting.  They’re going to give him some sort of a medallion.  Should we go?” It was the “should” that caught me short. As Al-Anon teaches, there are no “shoulds” …

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Accept small miracles

Accept small miracles

Who knows for certain what prompts someone with an addiction to give it up? I’ve heard many men and women in recovery say, “I was sick of being sick,” or “One day I just decided that wasn’t how I wanted to live, “or “I found a Higher Power.” Jacob’s commitment to recovery began more than …

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What to say when recovery begins

What to say when recovery begins

Recently a mother posed a question.  Her son in his 30s is just beginning recovery, or so she believes.  She asked me, “What do I say to my child who is now in recovery?” My first reaction was, How do you know he is in recovery?  And if he is, you probably would not worry …

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Courage

Courage

Courage faces fear and thereby masters it” Martin Luther King, Jr. It’s not something I ever thought I had. Courage is for soldiers and firefighters, police, paramedics and martyrs. Because of Covid, it’s the stuff that makes healthcare workers, grocery clerks and delivery truck drivers heroes. But addiction introduced me to another kind of courage. …

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The people we need

The people we need

People, People who need people, Are the luckiest people in the world We’re children, needing other children And yet letting a grown-up pride Hide all the need inside Acting more like children than children     Barbara Streisand, People album, 1964 The need for other people was never stronger than when my son was actively abusing …

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