If you’re any kind of flyer, you know the lines.

Make sure your seat belt is fastened. Seatback and tray table in their full upright position.

And the most enigmatic of all, when flying with small children, secure your own oxygen mask first.

 

If you’re a parent, sometimes it feels like you’re flying with small children your entire life.

I’m so reminded of this when I visit my son and his friends in South Florida, all who are in recovery, many long-term.

At Jacob’s invitation, I attend AA meetings.  It gives me the opportunity to know these “kids”  and to learn how different – and how alike – they are.

One feature of their lives is how few parents have tried Al-Anon. Not that Al-Anon is a “must.”   Something else may have helped them to recover from years of chaos with a son or daughter.  Church?  Other forms of fellowship?  Therapy? They’re all good.

But they are not comparable to the program their children attend.

Al-Anon uses the same 12 steps as AA.  It also teaches a focus on self, and not the addict.  Almost by osmosis, many who attend gain a deeper understanding of addiction and what it takes to recover…for the addict, but as importantly, for themselves.

Through Al-Anon I acquired a common language with Jacob.  Gradually, I began to understand this new path he was on, and how in many ways it mirrored my own. The bond I’d enjoyed when he was a boy bloomed once again.

A common phrase in Al-Anon is, if one person in an addiction relationship gets healthy, the rest of the family can get healthy, too.  I meet many young people who wish their mothers and fathers understood them more.

Maybe more parents might put on their own oxygen mask first.