If you haven’t experienced it yet, you are fortunate.
And probably in the minority.

Recently, it happened to me again.
A friend whose son had abused drugs most of his life suddenly lost his battle to overdose.

Every day in America some 100 people die from overdose.
Somewhere a mom or dad faces the unimaginable.

Parents will say, after years of watching their child slowly kill themselves with drugs, that they are prepared for their child’s death.
They will say, it won’t surprise me to get that phone call one day.
But it always does.

My friend lives in a new reality, raw and suffering.

What is the right thing to do when a child dies from an overdose?
Is it different than any other loss?

Friends who have lost children to addiction tell me that, first, they questioned everything. Guilt consumed them. Was there something else they could have done? Did they miss a que? The “what ifs” haunted their sleepless nights.

And then there was the unrelenting shame. Was it something that they did, or didn’t do, to cause their child’s addiction?

Even after ten years of my son’s recovery – and my own – I still turn to Al-Anon for answers. What can I do to help assuage the unspeakable grief my friend now endures?

At weekly meetings several parents who have lost children continue to attend. Here they find solace. They serve by sharing their experience, strength and hope with others.

And they offer me their wisdom…

Just be there for her.
Just like you would for any death.
Just show up.

I visit, phone, text and stay close.

Although it hardly feels like enough, it is what I do.
I show up.