It haunts me every time.

Recently, it was a close friend, a father who is living the nightmare of his son’s active addiction.  Complicated by the young man’s mental illness, this father’s not sure which came first – the drugs or the mental sickness – but the heavy marijuana use thwarts any effort to find out.

I ache to help him.

Frequently, we text. His last message ended with “It’s times like these that I wish I’d paid more attention to my religion.”

No one can get through a loved one’s addiction alone.  We lean on those closest to us, we ask for professional help – but sometimes, especially in the blackness of our nights, it’s not enough.

There’s a reason recovery literature is laced with the phrase “higher power.”  It’s also explained as “a God of your understanding. “

At first, it can turn people away.  But make no mistake:  this isn’t “religion.”  It’s whatever you want or need it to be, so long as it’s a belief in something greater than yourself.

I once heard a woman in a support group proclaim she was an atheist.  Her belief was a non-belief, and that worked for her.

Sometimes, for me, it’s just taking a walk, especially among trees.  Looking up at their branches and thick, sturdy trunks, marveling at the surety of their beauty, is enough to remind me there’s something greater than myself –  something I can rely on  through the hard times and the good.

I pray this dad will find it for himself.  Soon.